So the Big Boy Punkies have been
REALLY bad for the last few months. Zo has been a defiant monster that has been soiling himself on purpose multiple times daily and Buddha has been a terror that I have seen since he first came home.
So we have had to do a crack down that is both hard and sad for me. I hate living with them always in trouble and even more I hate being a warden instead of Mommy.
We have taken both boys to Children's hospital in Seattle to see the Psych department and both boys are seeing psychologists and Zo has gotten into Psych while Bu is on the waiting list. The Psychologist have given Buddha yet another diagnosis of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome(imagine that) and they are pretty sure Zo has Oppositional Defiance Disorder(Yeah! Not!). So we are having to change everything we have been doing as parents to them.....again. I gotta tell you I am learning so much about myself that I am wondering why I paid all those years for therapy?! I should have just adopted kids through the foster care system at 25!
But on top of all that we had the scariest then the most horrific end of the week. On Thursday I took Zo to his appointment in Seattle and got home right as it was a little before time to go pick up Bu from school. Kim said she would go and left a little early because he freaks out if we aren't in line where he can see us when he comes out of the building. So as she pulls into the parking lot and parks she sees Buddha walking out of the school(a half hour before school is suppose to be out). He is just wandering in the school yard moving towards one of the busy parking lots. Now most 6 year olds would know not to go into a busy parking lot but we are talking about Buddha who is clueless and is emotionally at times like a 2 year old. So Kim went to take him back into his class and the school doors were locked so on top of my son being outside unattended he is now also locked out. Kim took him back to his room where she was greeted by the teacher telling her he had no idea Buddha wasn't in class! What?! Oh the week before he told us that Buddha was often found in the halls just wandering and brought back by numerous teachers through out the day.....Ummmm...Why would he not notice my kid wasn't in class? OK I'm getting off track.....So Kim leaves Buddha in class and goes back to her car to wait. And 5 minutes later Buddha is outside again! Before class is out!!!!!! So at this point we are crazy worried and a little pissed. She went to talk to the Principal and she was not in. I called the school and told them Bu would not be coming on Friday until I could talk to the Principal.
So I called Friday morning and she agreed to see me at 2:30. Kim had to work so I was going alone. She was feeling like we would have to pull him and bring him home to home school again. That there wasn't anything the school could really do and he wasn't safe. I was feeling that there had to be something and we needed to put the fire to the school.
So I went in and sat down with the Principal and was floored at what happened throughout the rest of the meeting. She was so willing to do whatever we needed to do to make this work! She asked me about Buddha and what I thought he needed. Then she called in teachers, playground worker and other staff and what I found out next would rock my world. My son was not only a bully and a manipulator but he was terrorizing the boys bathrooms and playground. It seems he was rarely in class and he was hiding in the bathrooms hitting and pushing and kicking smaller boys that came in. And on the playground he was punching random kids in the head then pushing them to the ground and kicking them. And after being put in a 3 minute time out would get up and target small girls and scream obscenities in their faces until they sob. OMG! I just sat there staring at adult after adult after adult coming in the tell us what they see Bu doing DAILY!!!!!! We are 3 months into school?! Why haven't they expelled him?! Why haven't I been asked to come in?! Why was he allowed to go to the bathroom unattended? Why was he allowed on the playground?! Do the other kids parents know that my child is terrorizing their kids? They need to know there is a bully targeting them on the playground!
All of the adults said they knew his background and wanted to give him chance after chance. Which I appreciate their compassion but he was allowed to manipulate and entire staff at school and torment all the other children!
I sat there with tears running down my face telling the Principal how sorry I was, that I had no idea and I felt manipulated and duped by Buddha. I thought he was been tortured by the other children and was an outcast. But Wow! He was capable of being so mean on purpose.
So I spent the next hour with the Principal making a plan about Buddha's future. Immediate and long term. He is doing half days for the next month so there is no lunch or recess. He will be escorted by an adult at all times. And he will be given a complete evaluation at school so we know what if any special needs there may be.
I spent the weekend talking to him about his behavior. There was a lot smirking and no remorse, He was mostly pissed because I finally found out about what was going on. He thought he had them all under his thumb. I'm having to look at Buddha in a different light. It is hard to swallow. It is sad. I'm worried about him, I am worried about smaller children around him.
I am so thankful for being in this school district with this Principal. I am hoping we can work together to give what Buddha what he needs. I'm trying to make Bu a citizen. Someone who will be respectful and contribute to his community not someone who will terrorize it!
Wish us luck! And think good thoughts that I will stay strong and be the parent I need to be to make him successful!!!
