Dear Diary.....

I keep thinking, "I'm almost 40, I'm going to stop making the same mistakes!". 


But I find myself repeating old habits! So I find myself owing one of my Besties an apology.  I hate having to say "I'm Sorry!" Not because it is hard for me to admit I'm wrong(which I hardly ever am) but I hate fucking up and hurting the ones I love.


See I have this awful habit of becoming crazy, overbearing, over protective big sister to the people I love when they really don't ask for it. And it sucks cause I can see it happening and I can't stop it! It mostly happens with my baby sister and Bestie D. (But don't feel left out because if you were to email or call or tell me someone is hurting you it will probably automatically appear and you will feel smothered and loved too! Really I will! I can't help myself!)


So I did it....again.......... with D yesterday.  And I saw it unfolding in front of my eyes. I got that tight feeling in my chest and wanted to smack the person I felt was doing her wrong, when D didn't see anything wrong with what was unfolding.  But of course even as I am saying to the Queen that I need to mind my own business and stay out of her stuff I am typing her telling her that stuff was bad/wrong when all she needed me to say was that it sounds like she is having a shitty day and I love her.


So I am going to learn this lesson!!! I totally am!!! Really, I am! I see all of you that have known me for a while shaking your head with that smirk of your face...but I am!  I figure if I can do it with Lizzy and D, I can do it with anyone.....but maybe my friends Kris and Kristen cause I get crazy protective over them too.....OK they are grown women I can do it with them too!!! Do you think I have to stop being crazy protective over the Punkies?! No....I have a few years don't I? They won't feel overprotected and smothered by me yet will they? I will have to think about that one.....But I can do it people!!!!


Life lesson 403: You can't be a good friend when you don't listen and only try to fix! 


I love you D!!!! And I am sorry I stuck my nose into your business when I should have said, "That sucks! I'm sorry you are having a bad day and I love you!"